Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
