so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
