you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
