see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
