Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
