he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's blow job season.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
