I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
