Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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