Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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