those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
