My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
