I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
