we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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