dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
