If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he thought i was a dude.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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