At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
