oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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