I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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