I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
