whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
