You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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