I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
