Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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