There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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