just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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