you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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