Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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