How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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