piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
