They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
