Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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