my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
