He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
