In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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