I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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