Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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