Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
