So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
