he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
