I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
