get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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