I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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