This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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