I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So much rum. So many feels.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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