So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
