my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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