Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
