I smell stomach acid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I want to fling myself into the sun
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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