if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
