Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
