those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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