it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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