Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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