spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
