If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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