what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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